


Every Single Step

by orphan_account



Category: K-pop
Genre: F/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-27
Updated: 2013-02-27
Packaged: 2018-02-27 21:40:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2707739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He never could understand why his friend paid so much attention to a girl who would never know of their efforts, but Kai continues to help in every step along the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every Single Step

**Author's Note:**

> This story was first published in Asianfanfics; it has been backdated to reflect the original date of completion. It is written around the English translation of _Good Night_ by C-Clown, the title inspired by _Every Breath You Take_ by The Police. It was originally written as an entry to a crackship contest, hence all the weirds.

 

** YESTERDAY **

 

 

 _Three years._  Three years, and you come back to curse my name by being a part of it: IU.

 

I and You.

 

I am perfectly aware that the people who thought of it meant some nonsense about the audience and me bonding together through music; but it is your face that my mind summons, every single time. It is all the more harder, because that name is now my universe: it is who I am, it is who the world perceives me as, it is what I need to be, it is what I will be known as long after my body leaves this Earth. And you are half of it, as you used to be on those moments I thought I had forgotten.

You nag me without knowing, with those long stretches of  _what if_ s that string through and link at long-obscure crevices of my mind.

What if I never left? What if you had followed? What if you never took me seriously and just went on with  _us_ , as I half-wished you’d do?

 

It is too late: far too late. I do not even know if you took note of my unveiling as this creature: IU. I, still with you.

 

 

It has been one hundred days since that debut, and traces of you remain unfound. Even they, back home, do not know where you went since getting over me. Maybe, just maybe, I had hoped that you wouldn't; I had hoped for the surprise of your visit, maybe.

 

* * *

 

** TODAY **

 

_“I’m coming to you right now, just wait a bit more; I have something to tell you, don’t go anywhere at the end of this night”_

 

Music blares loudly from large speakers, a single song playing on repeat for one man hunched over his laptop, determinedly scrolling through dozens of pages dedicated to a female rookie singer.

“That’s not even her song, Hyung,” a boy lounging lazily on an unmade bed observes. His eyes are shut, tan limbs spread out on the cluttered mattress. The room is littered with documents and photographs, all to some degree linked to the object of the two occupants’ fascination. She is a petite girl, about the same age as the more relaxed male; her eyes are wide and bright with the hopeful adolescent promise of ambition, fuelled by the unexpected praise following her unveiling. Two Latin letters are spelled out on many of the papers: IU. Or, as her first followers know, Lee Jieun.

Annoyed at the other’s insolence, the elder snaps, “It’s  _our_  song.”

 

_“Until this night ends, I want to be by your side, only yours: be the only reason that you would ever run to”_

 

“Whatever,” the younger grunts.

Silence: if the clicking sound of rapid typing on a keyboard constitutes as such.

“Do you even remember why we’re doing this?” he questions exasperatedly, turning around after several hours of being glued to his screen.

 

_“Oh, you’re haunting me when I’m just dreaming”_

 

“Childhood sweetheart. Something about her being an amazing singer, auditioning and getting signed into some big entertainment company; trained for several years and now getting famous. Are you stupid? Of course I know. Why else would I be helping you, Kim Sunggyu?”

“Bastard,” Sunggyu growls. He turns back to the monitor, not letting the impertinence get to him; Jieun is infinitely more important.

 

Their days have been like this for quite some time. Three years ago, Lee Jieun left her and Sunggyu’s hometown to train as a singer in Seoul. Three years ago, Sunggyu met a highly impressionable boy named Kai and convinced him to help in constantly watching the girl. All for love.

 

“Look at this, Kai,” his voice softens dangerously, dripping with malice.

The boy walks toward his elder, eyeing the screen with interest. On it are a series of fan photographs taken at an airport in Japan. The girl walks head down as an older man hovers protectively, his eyes scanning the area for potential threats.

 

\- - - - - -

 

I really don’t remember how we reduced ourselves from being overeager fanboys to insanely obsessed stalkers. How Sunggyu reacted to Jieun’s manager doing his job just seems too intense, now that I think about it. I haven’t thought of anything for a long while now.

We began casually, Gyu offering to help with some matter that had been bothering me then; I’ve forgotten what it was, but it must have been something too great for me to handle for me to agree to help with his mania. In truth, it is he who does all the work. I act as a support, somebody who is there simply to watch his back for onlookers, a cheerleader in all his efforts.

In observing him, I have come to simultaneously appreciate and scorn emotional exertion: I do not understand what it is to feel as intensely, my views limited to objective scrutiny. It must be a heavy load to carry constantly, continually. I do not wish to understand him. All I know right now is that it is the night after Lee Jieun’s one hundredth day as a mainstream performer, and we are walking up several hundred steps towards her apartment.

 

I do not quite remember how we got here: perhaps it was in Sunggyu’s car, or maybe it was on the train. I forget many things. I forget why exactly we are here in the first place.

As we reach her floor, I hear a male voice muffled by the half closed door to the main landing.

“Are you sure you’ll be alright here? We can call one of my friends to keep you company while your unnie coordinators aren’t around.”

My companion’s eyes are fixed on the threshold, unmoving; the voice is probably her manager’s, and her door is completely open for us to charge through at any moment. However, Gyu chooses to wait.

 

The sound of her bright giggle pulls at my chest, as if trying to stir up some long-neglected memory.

 

“That’s alright, Oppa. You’ll be back soon, anyway.”

“Alright, then. I forget that you’re of age now, really,” he chuckles, causing the man next to me to snort softly in disgust. “I’ll see you in a couple of hours.”

 

Within moments, the faint hum of the elevator at the end opposite ours is heard, and I follow Sunggyu as he marches viciously towards the girl’s door.

She has left it opened, watching the elevator’s double doors close; as we approach, her eyes widen in surprise.

 

“Oppa,” she whispers, stunned and visibly shocked at Gyu’s ferocious countenance.

 

Without warning, he brusquely pushes himself into her, as I close the door behind us. Even I am afraid of my friend as his harsh temper comes into play. We are all silent, and I am unsure of what is happening. Before us, Jieun is still evidently bothered. Nevertheless, she quickly composes herself; phone in hand, she excuses herself to the bathroom.

I follow Sunggyu, slightly dazed at the speed of the events, as he sharply goes after her.

 

\- - - - - -

 

Walking slowly, menacingly towards the girl until she reaches the farthest corner of her bathroom, Sunggyu pulls out a gun from his waistband and caresses it lovingly while looking directly into the girl’s eyes.

Hugging her knees tightly, Jieun looks away as she curls up defensively against the cold tiles, her breathing shallow and swift.

“Sunggyu, no!” Rushing forward to pull his friend away from the girl, Kai whispers urgently, “She’s getting scared, see? Do we really have to do this?”

 

“W-who the hell is Sunggyu?” Crouched in a corner, Jieun cries unstoppably as her breath quickens with her rushing heart. Her eyes widen in horror, confused and dazed; her voice cracking as she stammers out a shouted question.

 

“Nobody you know,” the man snarls, pushing Kai away with ease. He kicks the boy forcibly in the chest, a finger resting dangerously on the gun’s trigger. He looks down at the writhing form as it clutches its chest in pain, and Sunggyu toes the body with disgust.

“Do you have any idea,” he begins. “Even just the slightest— yeah, that’s the word,” he nods to himself thoughtfully as he kicks the boy lightly.

“Do you have the slightest idea as to what I’ve been feeling these past few months,” he faces her, using the gun to force her to look towards him. “Seeing you around so many men.”

He licks his lips, prodding Kai meditatively with the toe of his shoe, continuing, “Especially that— what’s his name? Your manager?”

“H-huh,” Jieun looks up fearfully, unable to speak as violent sobs break out of her throat, beating on her chest. Resting next to the toilet is Kai, hurriedly recovering from Sunggyu’s abuse.

“No,” he whispers with closed eyes, pretending to be hurt. “I don’t need to hear the name from you.”

Sunggyu waves his gun-wielding hand dismissively, shouting unrestrainedly, “But you don't even care,  _do you_?”

 

“You haven’t cared for a long time,” he murmurs, walking away.

 

“You used to want me this way, I think,” he muses. “Of course, that could just be me.”

“But then,” he continues, turning around to face her again. “If you won’t have the one who loves you the most, then why should you have anybody else?”

 

“In fact,” he sneers. “Why should anybody else have you?”

 

Narrowing his eyes, the man raises the gun and points it at the girl.

Kai stands up protectively between the girl and his friend; he weakly reaches into his jacket, pulling out an identical-looking pistol from an inside pocket. With all his remaining strength, the boy aims the weapon shakily at Sunggyu.

With a derisive laugh, the elder moves closer to the other younger male until cold metal touches his own skin, and remarks in a mocking undertone, “You won’t. You know you can’t.”

 

Three years of arrogant obsession, of painstakingly watching the girl with their limited resources and connections. Three years of what Sunggyu claimed was love. And, indeed, Kai is sure that it must be love; because why would he be doing this to his only friend in the world, for anything else?

 

“Watch me,” Kai whispers determinedly with closed eyes and fires.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“JONGIN!”

 

An anguished scream rings throughout the area, the girl’s high-pitched voice piercing through the thin divisions between several floors, as the only other body in the room falls into Lee Jieun’s arms.

 

 

> “Call me ‘Oppa’ just this once,” Jongin begged with a pout.
> 
> ”I’m one year older,” Jieun playfully pushed his shoulder admonishingly. “Silly child.”
> 
> “Aish. And I pouted, too,” he noted. The boy looked away, pretending to be hurt. Wrapping an arm around her shoulder, he held her close to breathe in her fragrance of orchids and cinnamon as the warmth of his beating heart combined with hers.
> 
> “Exactly,” she affirmed with a triumphant smile, threading her slim fingers through his. “Cheer up,  _Oppa_.”

 

 

“I’m sorry. I’m so,  _so_ sorry, Kai.”

 

She huddles over Kim Jongin’s motionless form as blood continues to seep out endlessly from the hole in his temple, her voice breaking as sobs continue to echo hopelessly, unheard. She holds him close to her heart, as she had years before. The weapon, still warm with the heat of its owner's body lies next to them, ignored but not unforgotten. From that day on, a gunshot would echo in Jieun's ears with every single step life would take her to.

 

 

> “Can’t you just be happy for me?” She bit her lip worriedly, eyebrows furrowed in an attempt to keep the stinging teardrops at bay. “We knew this would happen, and we talked about it. You were the one who supported me the most.”
> 
> “Of course,” he whispered, his head hung in defeat. Faking a smile, he looked into her eyes and assured, “I’ll always be here to cheer you on. I can wait.”
> 
> “You don’t have to.” 

 

 

Jieun’s mobile phone begins to ring with a call from her manager, one song’s mocking chorus further fuelling her despair.

 

_“Good night, good night, good night; good night, my love…”_

 

 

 

> “I’m Kim Sunggyu,” the strong-looking male said, his arm fluidly breaking free from its confinement within the bathroom mirror, and he from within his substantial counterpart's psyche. “I can help you with many things.”
> 
> “R-really?” Quickly drying his tearful, bloodshot eyes, Jongin shook the man’s proffered hand, his fingers desperately grabbing onto air, his mind imprisoned within itself in an instant. “I’m Kai.”
> 
> “Nice to meet you, Kai. I’ll take over from here. You can help me, if you feel like it.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

** TOMORROW **

 

**Man Found Dead in Celebrity’s Home**

**SEOUL**  — Last night, 24-year old Kim Jongin was found dead after purportedly committing suicide in rookie singer IU’s apartment.

IU, real name Lee Jieun, was found by her manager weeping over Kim’s body two hours after the manager's departure.

A .357 Magnum revolver was confirmed to have been used in the crime scene.

Lee's handlers have made no statement regarding her rumoured former romantic ties with the victim.

 

 

**MAN KILLS SELF AFTER BEING JILTED BY IU**

 

 

 

 

_**IU: Demon in Disguise or Misunderstood Angel?** _

 

 

 


End file.
